It was another day of trying to write, playing Gran Turismo, drinking coffee, smoking, and trying to draw.
It is a lot to try and do. In addition, I had my art out, trying to sell, which rarely happens in the cafe. People there don't have much money, unlike the bar.
The writing is a standard activity, I'm always going to do that when I am in a coffee shop. I try and get some comic book pages drawn up when I can, but that is not always easy, as you know, if you have ever tried. It requires a certain mood you have to be in....not to mention the laziness factor.
Anyway, I had my PlayStation One set-up, trying to win some races, and failing miserably.
To compensate for this, I was trying to win enough credits to buy another car.
I have 413,000. I need 500,000 credits to buy a top of the line race car.
'Souping it up' will be another matter.
Parts and accessories on a car like that can easily amount to another 100,000 credits down the drain.
I have fast cars, but then they spin out, so I lose the race.
Then I have stable cars that can handle curves, but they are not fast enough.
'The World of Gran Turismo' is not easy. All I'm doing is 'loot farming', or some prefer the spelling of 'L3wt Pharming'.....which gets to be too much for me.
( I don't know if it is 'souping' or 'suping', to spruce up a car. English is a bitch, even for native speakers. )
Anyway, I sold nothing. People gave me some funny looks, as if it was outside the realm of acceptable activities to have my art out for sale.
Then there is the issue of whether or not my art is even good enough to sell. I will have to address this. I think I will keep working on some of the paintings, to improve them.
Then, there is the issue of....'Well, does my PlayStation portable hamper my sales?"
Well, do I have to be making art all the time, at the moment when someone is interested in my art? Do I constantly have to be putting on a show?
It is more than I am willing to do anymore.
I am not into living up to other people's expectations of what I should or should not be doing as an artist.
People use their phones and laptops all the time, doing questionable activities.
I don't see why I can't have some fun, too.
( Uh oh, I just realized about twenty minutes ago, that it actually is St. Patrick's Day today. I don't know how this will affect the bar tonight, considering it is a Monday. They partied over the week-end...does that mean that there has to be more drinking? Probably, I would say, "Yes". )
( Sheez. )
So, will I have to take a small table tonight on the bar, on account that it will be incredibly busy?
I guess I will have to go up there and find out.
Yeah, my art sales have been sluggish, apart from selling a Mr. Spock painting to a friend for $100.
I need to sell more if I am to make it in this world.
I just heard my landlady out there with some guy, probably the building manager.
It always feels as if somebody is on my ass somehow, which is why I race on a video game. It helps get my frustrations out of my system.
It actually might help me to be even more frustrated.
I don't know yet.
I can still hear the voices of my my landlady and my manager.
It is interrupting my writing.
People have to talk all the time.
That is what humans do.
Most have to keep up the chatter.
I think that if they don't keep talking, they are afraid that their mouths might seal up.
Man, I came home just so I didn't have to hear the chatter at the cafe. It is tremendous there. People get on their phones, and they just can not shut up.
This is what life is about, I guess, and we are all monkeys that descended from the trees in search of food across 'The Grasslands' when there were too many monkeys in the trees, and not enough to eat.
Also, do I have to be online all day long? Do I have to keep producing material? Do I have to keep creating content for mass consumption? Do I have to keep producing free material for facebook and twitter?
It is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what I am going to do about it.
I guess I could keep playing video games. That will keep me out of trouble.
Women hate seeing men playing video games, though, but it is not my problem. I think it is funny, and I am amused by the activity, especially in public.
You know, typing on this computer keyboard just isn't the same for me as working on a 1947 portable Smith-Corona. It does not feel right.
I was typing at the cafe a lot, because it got my mind working in the morning, and it was physical, but now I don't even do that. I felt the noise bothered people, and it was just too much to ask of people to tolerate.
Besides, I need some more ribbon.
They still sell it, just so you know, at selected stationary stores.
Luckily, my landlady did not feel like bothering me. That is good. They were investigating the space next to mine, which was recently cleared out by some woman who left on account of her stuff being stolen. She was disappointed with the whole mess down here, from loud musicians who don't pick up after themselves, to thieves.
Anyway, I hear no voices anymore.
I need a place where I have no interruptions, but then I wonder if I would get any work done.
We can not create art in a void.
Art can only exist if there is someone to look at it; otherwise, what is the point?
Other than all this, it was a Standard Day at the cafe today, with no sales, but the coffee was good.
I guess I might as well turn on some 'Age of Conan Unchained', and get some xp.
I have not played EverQuest in days. I guess it is time to do some of that, too.
( If you want to see my EverQuest writings, well, they are on the 'Illuminaughty Consortium' guild website. I am too lazy to post the link right now, and I highly doubt anybody would click the link to go read that stuff, anyhow. )
Okay, here is the link...god, how I hate work to do stuff like this...I guess that is the difference between being a writer and a typist....my lord....so....much...work....
http://illuminaughtyc.guildportal.com/Me/541752161
Okay, there you have it...now you can pry even more into my life, if you want...which is the way of the web, and of bars.
Anyway, now I can smoke again, now that my landlady is gone....
Anyhow, the energy that I would have put into my manual typewriter is now going here, and I don't know how I feel about that.
I want this piece to be good, and readable, but is it? I don't know.
I guess I will read it over again...
Okay, so I just read over it again.
Each time I read it, I add something, so it will be more clear, and possibly make more sense. Or, it will just get convoluted, and unnecessarily complicated.
I don't know if i am writing for me, or for someone who will come along and read this later. Or maybe I will make this into a youtube video, who knows? I could read all of this with my sunglasses on, so people won't detect that I am reading.
I don't know, do I have to prove how much I suck as a writer? Do people need to know that, too?
I just don't know how I feel with so many people prying into my life for their own amusement. I would have to think that is what people do. It is in their nature.
Then, I have been watching a lot of science and astronomy videos, and really enjoying the hell out of those. I learned some things about evolution, the creation of the Earth, and of the development of human societies across the globe. It 's been rather interesting, as there are many gaps in my knowledge that must be filled. Plus, science always marches on, so it is good to get an update from time to time.
In my lifetime so far, people debated on whether or not there are black holes, and now we know there is one in the middle of our Milky Way Galaxy, which is pretty fascinating when you think about it.
One thing, I noticed, just so you know, is that I don't get as much online gaming done when I write. I have noticed this...so what is more important? I don't know.
I also don't know if it is even worth it to try and sell art in a cafe which has thus far been so unresponsive to my art and my person. It is as if they don't care if I exist or not.
Why should they care? I don't know. I know I don't care that most of them exist, because most of them are nasty and into their own worlds.
They give me nothing to respond to, so I don't know what they expect of me.
Sometimes, I see artists drawing, but mostly I don't bother them. Artists don't like to be bothered for the most part. I should know. But if I have stuff out that is obviously for sale, that is another story.
How long is this piece going to go on? I don't know. It could go on forever, I guess.
All I know is that multi-tasking means that you are going to do two things not as good.
I always think that I am going to come back and read my pieces, but then I never do, preferring to write new ones. That is just how it is.
Screw it, I might as well end it here. Who is going to bother to read all of this anyhow? Even I don't want to, out of laziness.
I was going to use the 'F' word, but decided against it.
I've been having problems about self-censorship, and don't know what to do about it.
Society has dictated that mostly I should not swear, but I see people swearing on a daily basis. It leaves me a little bit confused.
Anyways, laters.
( I was wondering if I should read this for youtube, or not. Should some things be left as text, and others not? I don't know. I can't answer that right now. )
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