whatever

     whatever is the worst word.  it means you don't care enough even to capitalize a sentence.  it sucks.  periods are okay, and even commas, but using a question mark is out of the question.

     people on online games write this way.  im fatigued with it, but i am learning how they write.  it is not somethin 2 b proud of

     i could go on, i lean how dey be writin it is awful no consideration for reader no worry bout mistakes

     doesnt matter as long as they understand what i say," they say

     "Yeah, but it is lazy language," I say.  "In addition, it is really lousy to read," I added.

    

     I got in there early today.  My two brothers woke me up with chat box messages.  I didn't mind.  It's been a while since I got in there around 10 a.m.
     I had a good time painting, but no sales or interest in my art work.
     It bums me out when no one pays attention.
     I think my work is valid.  The only problem is that it all takes a tremendously long time to produce.  People want art fast, like it was a Polaroid, and it just does not work that way.

     I watched some scenes from 'A Scanner Darkly' with Robert Downey, Jr.  He's a talented guy.  He's acting, whereas Keanu just seems to be the same guy in every movie...himself.
     The audiobook with Paul Giamotti reading, is better than the movie, I think.

     I have trouble reading these days.  I lack the concentration.

     With so much going on in the studio with online games, blogging, facebook, and other activities, I find that I can't pick up a book.
     "Why bother when I can just listen to the audiobook?" I say to myself.

     I like to lay in bed with an audiobook running.  I find it delightful.

     Anyway, I have 'The Old Republic' on.  I am working my smuggler.  He is level 12 now.

     I am quite impressed with this game.  I want to film my character taking a taxi ride.

     Anyhow, with all this Philip K. Dick stuff, I've been immersing myself with, well, it makes me think of California.

     I spent eight years in Utah, and it seems to have been a bizarre experience for me.  I am still trying to figure out if living there helped or hindered.  I can't figure it out.
     There was nothing to do there.
     I became very isolated, and I wanted to get out.

     So, I have this video game on, and I can camp a spot for hours while I write.  It is an unusual way to play online games, but I've done it for years this way.  That way I get a lot done, and still get xp.

     With the artwork, well, let's just say that business is slow.  I was hoping for a good week-end, but it was not to be.
     I still have to go in tonight, to try and make something happen.
     I don't get a day off....ever.
     I never know when someone will show up for a purchase.
     My customers can appear at anytime.

     They often do, too.

     I've recently set the bar high in my mind, where I want to sell $1000 of art in a single night.  I certainly have enough work to sell that much.  Then the trick comes with getting people to buy.  That is not easy.
     Sometimes my work looks like hell.
     Other times it looks great.

     Another problem is that people want a discount.
     I have given people so many discounts that it has kind of hurt me, as I scramble for dollars now.

     "Egads," I think to myself.  "I don't know what to do do now."

     Blogging has become a useless endeavor.  I don't know of anybody who actually reads my work, even though I write a blog entry a day.
     I don't even know why they would read it.  I am not sure of my material.  I don't know if it is any good or not.
     Some things are, and most of it, to another person, is probably not too interesting, is my thought.
     People just want all the juicy bits all the time, and they want it now.
     Attention span is a factor.
     No one has the concentration to read anymore, which is good for the corporations, I guess.

     "You don't want a lot of people thinking and reading," I reflect in the voice of a corporate executive.  "They should focus on how unhappy they are, and how they need to buy products to make them happy, and then we can make them miserable again in a never-ending, viscious cycle.  Women and children are easy prey...hehe."

     Anyhow, I drank some beers yesterday.  It didn't do me much good.  It didn't hurt too much, either.  But by the time I got to the bar, I did not feel like drinking much.  It took me a couple of hours with some water and soda before I finally succumbed to a beer.

     So, Philip K. Dick was a pretty prolific author.  I think the poverty and the drugs fueled him
     He wanted to be successful.
     It just happened to take him a very long time.
     Some Blade Runner money started coming in, and...he died before the film's release.

     Ooops.

     It didn't matter anyhow.  The movie was a box office flop.

     It wasn't until years later that Blade Runner got its due.

     The Director's Cut was actually an accident, I discovered.  They sent an unfinished version of the film to a film festival by mistake without the narration, and the audience loved it.  Then with some more tweaking, The Director's Cut was born...haha.  They don't talk about this much.  I got this info from a British documentary found on youtube about Blade Runner.

     Meanwhile, my Star Wars update is I was thinking about Flash Gordon, with the threat of the entire planet of Mongo moving towards Earth.
     That is the impetus of The Death Star...duh.
     I never realized it in those terms.
     I don't know how Ming The Merciless was able to move an entire planet, though.  That sounds ridiculous.
     George Lucas took it one step further by making it the size of a small moon, and to have it completely constructed.  It turned out to be a good move on his part.

     I have seen the entire unedited 'Flesh Gordon' before.  I actually enjoyed it.  A memorable scene was Dale Ardor nude in the rocket ship, hanging on as Flesh and Dr. Flexi Jerkoff piloted.  The claymation was good, and it's not a bad film.  It is more enjoyable than you would think.  Despite the X rating, there is no real sex that I remember.  Just nudity, though I read orgy scenes were filmed.
     Producing porn at the time this was made was legally considered 'pandering'.
     I don't know how things changed by the end of the decade where porn films were in full swing.

     Now, porn is just part of American Culture, and it is no big deal.

     "I don't see anything wrong with porn," the author thought.

     Anyhow, they have strippers on this Star Wars game in the cantinas, but they are covered up.
     I need an awesome online game with actual nudity.
   
     They exist.  I saw one on redtube.  I don't know how good it is.  I would expect any porn online game to be lousy.  I would also expect all the female characters to be played by men.

     I had my fun today.  I could go into work early today.  I wonder if I will.

     I've been listening to 'A Scanner Darkly' audiobook for hours.  It reminds me of the ever-lasting California Drug Culture.
     I see people messed up on drugs.
     Today, I saw a zombie drop a bottle a couple of times so that both ends were broken off, so had this Snapple bottle tube, and he took the lid.  I had never seen that before.  I was wondering if there was a way he was going to do some drugs with that object, but I didn't know how.  The zombies now steal a part from a motorcycle engine to smoke something somehow.  I don't know what they do exactly, and I don't want to know.  Motorcycle owners aren't too happy with these drug fiends.

     "Never mess with a man's vehicle, man."

     Philip K. Dick could write 60 pages while on amphetimines.  That is a lot.

     Today was just another day at the cafe.
     It was beautiful outside.
     I had a good time painting.
    
     It was a big surprise when my sister showed up.
     A lot of people don't know I have a sister.
    
     Most everyone ignored what I was doing, except the Spanish woman pushing a stroller who saw my paintings in the window. 
     She came in to say hello.
     That was nice of her.
     She asked about my art, so we had a good exchange of words.
    
     Meanwhile, I am starting to figure out that I need art things that people can relate to with my art, images they are familiar with.
     I gotta make my bread and butter.

     I'm gonna take a nap.  I can't write worth crap right now.

     These two paintings sold today in the cafe.  I got $54 for them.  That is quite a discount, but she was young and cute, and she really liked the paintings.  I found I could not say 'no'.  She wanted them for her new apartment.  How could I refuse?
     It makes it hard to meet my bills, however.
     But to have a cute girl like your art, and post it on Instagram, and then have all her cute friends see the art is worth its' weight in advertising and promotion, I guess.
     Still, I need the money.  Jabba The Hutt is after me, and has a bounty on my head.

     Everyone else in the cafe ignored my art.  That is normal, unfortunately.

     Maybe it will be different someday, where I will get paid properly for my art.

     The still-life with the word 'SATAN' on it wasn't exactly finished, so I didn't mind taking a cut on that one.  I've been trying to sell that one for a long time, and no one seemed interested, but she loved and adored it, so she got the painting.
     I made someone happy today, so that makes it worth it.

     She was quite the cutie, I might add.  I didn't even bother trying to pick up on her, because, uh...what's the point?
     Sure, that doesn't stop old men at the bar from picking up on young women, but it stops me.  I'm not a low life in that way.  I am in others, but I am no longer in the breaking young women's hearts business anymore.  That part of my life is over.
     A guy can have sex and not care, and go about his business the next day.  It is different for most women, so I don't mess with that anymore.
     If a younger woman really wanted me, that would be different, but I am not going to impose myself on others.  It ain't my style.

     So, there you go.

     Meanwhile, I don't know if anybody actually reads this blog or not, so I just write it for myself, and cross my fingers for good luck.

     I sold $25 worth of art in the cafe today.  That was amazing, and unusual.
     I hardly ever sell in the cafe.  Usually, I just do prep work in there for the night.
     Anyway, a nice lady bought a painted toy horse, and two napkin arts.
     I am drinking a $2 Tecate out the door beer to celebrate.
    
     "Caffeinated people buy art, too," she said.
     "Yes, but it is an extremely rare event," I thought to myself, and didn't say it.

     I had been making fun of her conversation with her co-worker, as they chose to impose it on me by sitting near-by.
     It was annoying.

     My favorite line is the guy said, "I'm falling asleep in here," and I said out loud kind of under my breath, but audible, "I've been falling asleep for the last half hour listening to you two."

     Words that I consider profanity:  marketing, advertising, and anything else designed to manipulate people on the web.

     With my stuff, you either like it or you don't, and you go on with your life.

     Anyhow, I had a good painting session, as always.
     I was going to skip it today, as I was terribly late, but I am glad I didn't, because I got the sale.

     I guess it is time to play some 'Star Wars: The Old Republic Online".  It is free to play, if you have a good enough computer.  You will need it for this one.

     By the way, if you type in 'Star Wars Episode IV Radio Drama' on youtube, you can find a six hour program starring Mark Hamill and Anthony Daniels.  It is fantastic, and fills in a lot of events that happen, but could not possibly be filmed.

     Other Star Wars news is that the destruction of The Death Star was an 'inside job'.

     Here is a picture of some of my recent art:

     It appeals to me a lot to be an 'art slut', rather than an 'art whore'.

     So, I had a good day at the cafe, producing art, and selling.  That is how I like it.

     Some big, fat cow brought in her burrito from the taqueria into the cafe, and positioned herself behind me, and to the right, so I had to hear her chow down.
     Then when she was done grazing, she left all of her trash for the cafe worker to pick it all up.

     I was trying to paint.

     What happens when people start eating around me, is it makes me start thinking about food instead of art.

     I have to smell their goddamn food, and it is distracting.

     When the cow was grazing, sure enough, the guy on the computer ran out to the liquor store and bought some kind of popcorn snack, so then I had to deal with him eating, too.

     People don't have any manners anymore.  They could give a truck.

* * * * *

     Anyway, I had two nice cups of coffee, and got a lot of painting done.  I feel that I made some progress.
     The day painting sessions help me to get ready for the night.

     I would love to sell art during the day, but it just does not happen.  Maybe it is the lighting.  I know for sure it is because people don't have money, and they certainly don't have the inclination to even look at what I am doing.  It is almost as if they do everything they can not to look.

     If I was just reading a book, they would strain their necks to see what the title of the book was.

     So, I read a book while my art was out on the table.

     That did not work, either.

     It is a tough crowd.

* * * * *

     Some girl told me there is a store in Berkeley that still sells typewriter ribbons.  That is good news, for it means they are still available.

     I like to type on my manual typewriter.  It is fun.

* * * * *

     Anyway, there is my two cents.

     I just finished watching some George Carlin from 1996, at the top of his game.  In his case, it lasted until the end.

     He was one of the great ones.

     He wrote all of his own material, and would test it out on audiences, and fine-tune the whole batch.  He had to memorize the whole act.  That is hard work, and he didn't miss a beat.

     You see, he was a writer, who happened to perform his own material.  But the writing was king.  He just happened to be damn good at performing it, too.  Not everyone can do that.

     I think that is what happens when you perform live.  The audience helps to make the material better.  You work on how they respond, and try to improve it.

     Louis CK does pretty much the same thing.  He's another hard-working man who deserves everything he got.  He worked his ass off.
     People in this country just expect everything handed to thewm from the moment they come out of the womb.

     Some people actually have to work.  I am one of those.  I wasn't given much.

     Actually, I was given a lot, though I know quite a few who still expect things handed to them.  It doesn't work that way.  No, sirree.

     Anyhow, I don't have time to worry about that sh**.  I have online games to play.  My Imperial Agent on SWTOR is level 12 now, and I am looking forward to what happens next.  I am kind of excited.

     I don't have a chubby or anything, but just glad to be playing.

     Some people don't want to much personal information, but I think it is all part of the literary tradition.

 * * * * *

     Meanwhile, I ate some nice chili with some broccoli in it, which was damn good.

     It is good to eat something green everyday.

     At least, that is what I hear.

     I found out one of the things that makes you fat is bread, because they put so much salt in it.  So don't eat bread.

     I love bread, I really do.  Sometimes I can't help myself.

     But I know now not to eat so much of it.

     That is the key.

     Pasta is fattening, too.

     Avoid eating pizza.  If you do eat it, don't eat the crust.  Well, I ate pizza the other day, and it was great, and I ate the crust.  Maybe I eat pizza once a month now.  There's people who eat it every week, and they wonder why they can't get their fat ass out of the chair.

     Don't drink soda.  Basically, it is sugar water.  It doesn't really satisfy your thirst, either.  After you drink it, you are still thirsty.  Sure, it is damn good, but drink some water along with it, so your body can process it.
     Coca Cola can dissolve a penny if you put one in a glass of Coke for long enough.
     Just think about what Coke does to your teeth.

     Nothing better than a Coke, that is for sure...but only once in a while.

     There are people who drink soda every day.  I don't.
     I do drink Raineer Ale everyday, and that ain't too good, either, haha.
     Carbonation can't be good for you.

     At least I walk and ride a bike every day.  That is all I am doing.  Better than nothing.

     I smoke like a fiend, and that is a problem.  I just like to do it so much, though.  I ain't gonna cry about it.
     Being happy is important, and smoking makes me happy a lot of the time.
     Now that I am 46, I have out-lived a lot of people who have never smoked in their life.
     I kind of laugh whenever one of these health nut risk takers gets hit by a car, or falls off a cliff, or dies hang gliding, while all I am doing is smoking and playing online games.
     You know why I never get bit by a shark?  I don't swim in shark-infested waters is why.

     High Fructose Corn Syrup.  It is in all of our food.  It is in there to make the food last longer.  Well, it ain't good for you.  I'll have to do some more research on it when I am not lazy.

     http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_fructose_corn_syrup  Okay, here it is....good reading.  Wow, we have high fructose corn syrup in everything because we tax sugar imports, and the high fructose corn syrup is cheaper.  I did not know that.

     Anyway, I'm watching more George Carlin, this time from 1992.  He's pretty good, and was a marvelous word smith.
     He had a start on radio, and this gave him good vocal training.
     It is not easy to have a voice on radio that people want to listen to.  Not many have that ability.

     So anyhow, George can say the 'F' word in a comedy show because people bought their tickets, and if they don't like it, they can leave.  HBO can broadcast it, because it is a paid service.  His stand-up can not be broadcast on regular television with censorship.  A kid can upload it to youtube, ignoring copyright laws, and everyone can see it on youtube. 
     I can't say the f-word on youtube,...well, I do sometimes...and many people do...some get away with it, others don't....but I'm really not supposed to say the f-word because of youtube policy.  They don't like profanity.  A little bit here and there they don't seem to mind, but if you use a lot, they can give you a warning, especially if people complain a lot.
     All this leaves me a little confused.
     Who even gets offended by swear words anymore anyhow?  Christian f***s?  I mean, 'Jesus'..!
     Meanwhile, people swear everywhere I go in San Francisco.  Male, female, young, old...it doesn't matter.  Everybody does it.
     What is so offensive about swear words?  Is it the profanity, or is it just bad writing, and thinking, and they don't have a good enough vocabulary to think of other words?
     I always swore as a teen to impress my friends, and to score points with them to show I wasn't a pussy.
     A lot of good that did me, haha.

     So the offense seems to be bad thinking and writing, and using swear words as a fall-back.  Well, it just goes to show that not everyone wants to be a thinker, and a writer, and they actually want to resort to 'lowest common denominator' language.
     I did notice recently that the main value of my education is so that I don't have to talk like low-life scum if I don't want to, that I can adjust the way I talk.  They have a hard-time adjusting to me, though, and I say, 'f*** 'em'. 
     Some people think I am an asshole because at times, I don't want to talk in 'American Slang' style.  I find that dialect to be so stupid, I just want to run away, and I often do, and they don't know why.  They take it really seriously.

     Another subject I want to discuss is drugs in San Francisco.  I would say that all people in San Francisco have experience with drugs, and most of them directly.  The few that don't have a drug history have certainly met people on a daily basis that do have a drug history.  San Francisco is definitely a city where drugs have affected everybody.  I don't think it is a good thing.
     I don't like to talk to pot heads.  I find them boring as duck.

     On my adult blog, which is set for 18 and over, I can swear as much as I want.  They don't review content there, so they say.
     I don't know what person in the world under the age of 18 would even think of reading one of my blogs anyhow.  What would possess them to do that, what with facebook, phones, and online games?

     I basically have a problem with anything that wants to edit me.  I had problems in school over this.
  
     These days, I don't know what I can or can't do on the web.  I just wish I had a website that was 21 and over, where I could blog, and do whatever I want, and make money at it.
     Advertisers don't like profanity and sexual content is the problem.  They pull out once they find profanity or naughty pictures on your site.
     Such is life, I guess.
     I would love to make money on the web, but I have not figured out how, yet.
     Someday I hope to, for it beats working.

     I don't know who will read this, and I don't care.  At the time of writing, I do it for me.  I only hope that somebody will read it eventually.

     There are a lot of published authors that don't get read much, so I don't know what hope I have, but all I can do is to keep trying.

     I would love to be a published author that people read, where my books get sold.  That would be incredible.
     I have never been a part of the popular crowd, though, and I am not a crowd-pleaser is my problem.  I don't want to say and write what people want to hear.  I want to say and write what I want.  There is a difference.

     Anyhow, it has been fun sharing my Sunday afternoon with you.  I could have played EverQuest, but I chose to use my time to write this page for you.  I hope somebody appreciates that someday.  That would be nice, but I am not expecting or hoping for that. 
     I don't think that should be the goal of a writer anyhow.

     One thing I have to do as a writer, if I am indeed serious, is to read more.  I have been listening to a lot of audiobooks, and that is good, but reading it in your own voice is essential.  It is the only way to develop your own opinions.
     Some people read better than others on audiobooks.  They don't always get the tonal influctuations right.
     One thing I learned is that Americans should stay away from reading English literature out loud on audiobooks.  They read it all in the same monotone, and their literature is not supposed to be like that.  Ours is, unfortunately, haha.

     Like an instruction manual is what American literature is, flat and boring.

 * * * * *

     Well, I guess that is enough for now....oh yeah, one last thing...when you are eating, it is all about portion control.  Start slimming down your portions.  You can eat whatever you want, just don't eat as much.

     We die a little every time we take a s***...excuse me, defecate.  Gotta use proper English, you know, though, even saying that seems ridiculous in this day and age, it really does.

     Part of the reason why people laugh with George Carlin is it is because it is so unusual to see any American speak good English...and to to be funny on top of that?  That is the 'wow factor'.

     Even if George wasn't funny, he would still be worth listening to, because he is smart.

     Anyway, so watch George on youtube for free, and thanks for reading.
    

     It was another day at the cafe.  No one looked at my art, except a couple of people in passing, which is an insult to me.
     How can you look at something when you are passing by?
     I guess my art wasn't good enough to grab their attention enough to stop and take a look.
     I reckon it wasn't worth their time, and I know they all have such busy lives, with things to do, and places to go.

     I enjoyed my two cups of coffee, and got a lot of painting done, so that is something.

     Hey, I found a copy-right free digital comics website...it is fantastic.
     http://digitalcomicmuseum.com/index.php

     They have 'Little Nemo in Slumberland', Western, Romance, and Funny Animal Comics.  Enjoy.

     Meanwhile, I am bracing myself for my upcoming move. 
     I'm going to have to shut everything down eventually, and transfer everything into a storage unit.

     It won't be fun.

     Art sales haven't been too good lately, so I am ducked.

     Oh well, what can I do?  I can't force people to buy my art.

     The cafe is actually a wonderful place to make art.  There is plenty of room, and I can use two tables, and no one bats an eye, as long as I clean up after myself.

     Meanwhile, I'm having a great time playing 'Star Wars: The Old Republic'.  I was up until five in the morning playing my Sith Inquisitor whose name is 'Bunnybear'.  She is viscious, and even sports an English accent.

     You can see my SWTOR videos on youtube.  They are there.  Hardly anybody watches them, but that might change, but probably not.  I'm not holding my breath.

     'Bunnybear' finally got a red lightsaber, so I am happy about that.  Also, she has a demon companion named 'Khem Val'.  He is pretty fierce, but dies often.

     Meanwhile, it keeps coming up that everybody's blogs are all the same.  It could be true.  I have a hard time reading other people's blogs.  They are so boring.  Plus, when their grammar and spelling are bad, it makes it even worse.
     If a person doesn't bother about 'usage', and uses bad English, as a reader, I could give a crap about their writing.

     I'm sure no one gives a crap about my writing...haha.

    

     This figurative painting was sold, then the buyer lost it that night.  While not impossible to recreate this piece of art, it would be a royal pain in the @ss.

      It's not a bad piece, and it has a dog on the right hand side.  My friend always gets on my case for not having enough dogs in my art.  He has a point since dogs and humans have a shared history of around 9000 to 34,000 years according to what you read on Wikipedia.

      Meanwhile, these two ladies are friends at the cafe.

     I can listen to them talk all day, because they have so much energy and spunk.

     "It was another day at the cafe," David thought to himself.  "Not much happened, and as usual, everybody ignored my art."
     The main event was pulling out the ramp for the wheelchair girl.  The cafe girl didn't know what that large piece of metal in the corner was for.  But now she knows.
     "It was heavier than I thought it would be, but it was a relatively simple matter to place it on the sidewalk, hooking it onto the front step of the cafe so she could wheel herself in," David mused.

     Anyway, it was a good time.  David got some painting done, and now wondered why he was writing about himself in the third person, as in, "Who the fuck wants to read about me?  The answer to that is 'no one' ".

     "Fuck, I might as well just play 'Star Wars: The Old Republic,' and have a good time, David thought, as he concerned himself with proper punctuation.
     "I don't want to confuse my readers....all two of them," David reflected.

     He had created a new smuggler on the game last night named....'David Lovins'....
     "Haha....might as well give myself some free advertising on the web when I make videos of this character," David joked.
     He knew deep down inside that it didn't matter squat what he did.  No one paid any attention to him whatsoever, as if he was incapable of doing anything good or of note in this world.

     He was still getting used to typing on a computer keyboard.
     "It just sucks...it doesn't have the same feel as a manual typewriter....it is hard to get the blood up typing on this plastic pice of crap....the keys are all angled wrong.....why in fuck they can't design a decent keyboard is beyond me....even those ergonomic keygboards suck ass," David carried on.

    "Anyhow, I'm going to get me some xp, and stop worrying about all of this shit," David sauntered.

     Hello, I'm listening to Philip K. Dick's 'A Scanner Darkly' on audiobook, available on youtube, as is 'Blade Runner'.
     Anyway, it was another day at the cafe today.
     I had to deal with three or four groups of A.A. people.
     I'm not a fan of 'Alcoholics Anonymous'.
     I think these people are messed up, and it has nothing to do with alcohol.  It's them.

     Anyhow, they don't like me much, neither, haha.

     I was wearing my devil t-shirt.
     Accompanied by all of my art, I create an environment counter-intuitive to what they do.

     Basically, they make other people in the cafe listen to their bitching and moaning about their drinking days.

     They all want to drink, too, which is the funny thing.

    
     Near the end of my session, two women were doing their A.A. thing.  Unlike the men, who are pretty strict with how to solve their drinking problem, the women talked about everything except what they were supposed to be talking about.  For them, it was more about talking, and expressing themselves.
     It sounded to me like both of them need to read more.

     The best part of my cafe time today besides the delicious coffee, was meeting some artist dude who was telling me stories about how he sells art on the streets, and in bars. 
     Tattooed, he was pretty cool.

     So, today was not a complete loss, and I got some painting done.

     But man, listening to A.A. people sucks.

     The only higher power there really is?  Gravity.