It did end up Charlie was right about cops. You should always be skeptical of them, and you can't trust them. If it is in their interest to use evidence against you, they will.
I recommend never talking to a cop if you can help it.
Of course, cops are useful when you really need them, but I don't really need them most of the time. There have been a couple of occasions where I did need them, and I am thankful that they were there.
For the most part now, I mind my own business, and I'll let them mind theirs.
I am a writer sitting in the cafe, and I ain't hurtin' nobody.
It is time for a cigarette. I'm sure a cop car will drive by, and they will look to see what I am doing.
Wow, I didn't see any cops, but I heard some people talking that I didn't want to listen to.
I came up with the title of this blog, as I stood out there thinking.
I had a good time while I was in Hollywood. I don't think I really understood what was going on, though. I was there for eight or nine years. I was into my art thing, which was kind of going against the grain of what everybody else was doing. I really believed in Art to transform me, and to power my life. Those were good days. I made a lot of art. I worked. I didn't make much money, though. I was going to school, and I wanted to learn. I felt that my life experiences were deficient. I wanted more. Plus, I had to undo a lot of Mormonism, which I felt wasn't doing me much good. I had a much better time being free from all that.
I never really worked in the industry except as a one day stint as a security guard. I wasn't really into the Hollywood thing. I didn't relate to it, nor was it something I wanted to involve myself with.
Also, I had no talent in the performing arts.
Eventually, there was no need for me to be in L.A. I had burned all my bridges there. Nobody wanted me, and I wasn't good for anything to anybody, so I came up to San Francisco to finish school.
With school being done, I found myself working for an older French couple, and that ended up being a pretty useless experience. I wasn't all that happy working for them. I'm glad I finally got out of there.
Some woman saved for me for four years. That was nice of her.
I ended up working as a doorman at a bar for eight years until I snapped, just like Charlie in Modern Times. I was aware of that film while I was in the process of snapping, and I knew that was what was getting to me, the mindless repetition of my job, and the soullessness of it all.
One thing was for sure, I was going nowhere fast.
Outstaying my welcome in L.A. and then S.F....I've pretty much banished myself to The Mission, near 16th and Valencia. It's quiet around here during the day. I like it.
There is a nice redhead sitting to the left of me, writing up a storm. She will be going to Colorado soon. She seems like a nice girl. A rendezvous would be nice with her late at night.
Anyway, life is good. I found a place where I can exist.
I was supposed to have an art show here twice, but it didn't happen. I don't even know if I want to show here anymore. The only is a nice guy, but he seems a little conservative for me.
You know what? I've got to figure out what is acceptable for an audience. It's not about me all the time, it's about how people receive and respond to my work. I should strive towards eliciting the reactions I am going for.
Yes, the girl to the left is kind of cute.
I always did like the Buster Keaton stone face no matter what happened. It's kind of funny.
So, I am up to 208,000 hits on my current youtube channel. Not bad for starting from scratch. Some of my videos hardly get watched at all. A few have broken through, and get hits every day. I need more of those. I need a hit.
I have found however that even with a good video, it still takes time for it to get pushed into searches.
Youtube seems to base what videos get put in the search by how many hits it gets. So I need hits to get hits.
I have about 115 subscribers at this point, and I am lucky to have those. I feel fortunate. They were hard to get, to win those people over. It isn't easy to get people to subscribe. Some people have 100,000 subscribers, and that is pretty amazing that they are that popular. They did it, they won people over. It is impressive.
I wish I could have 100,000 subscribers, and have my videos get watched. I have never been good at popularity contests, though. I've never been all that popular.
I was a stick in the mud while I was living in Bountiful, Utah. I don't think I was much fun at all. I was always hungry, and my needs weren't met, and I was unhappy at home, and at school. I barely had the energy to make it through the day sometimes.
The girl to the left is wearing a Batman shirt. Cool. That makes her even better. She plugged her phone into my outlet without asking. I liked the boldness of that. She just stuck it in. I like a woman who knows how and where to stick things.
Meanwhile, there is a bald headed Ming Merciless looking guy sitting to the right of me. He is just reading a book, minding his own business.
The girl, meanwhile, is hunched over her writing book, looking really intense as she writes.
I watched Modern Times last night. I hadn't see that for a year. It is a really great film. I really like it. I like the girl in it. She is striking. She has a lean and cut face. She is a dancer, obviously trained. She had to wear an old torn skirt for most of the film, and had dirt on her face, but she seemed to take the role with gusto. I wonder if Charlie banged her, and there would be no reason why he wouldn't. Charlie loved pussy. Part of it has to do with being a small man. It's good revenge to be getting a lot of tail when you are short against all the big, bone-headed bullies.
I would often hang out with beautiful women in L.A. and guys would wonder what the hell I had that they didn't have. To them, I appeared to be nothing.
"Would you just watch my stuff...I'm just gonna.."
Wow, she talked. I liked the sound of her voice to me. It was quite different than her little girl voice when she greeted the female counter lady who every body loves. She sounded excited, and tinny, and shrill, but elated.
I liked the calm voice she used. It sounded nice. I am glad she is writing a lot. It is good for her.
She sat right next to my table. Maybe she saw that I was studiously working, and she is picking up on my energy, which is fueling her writing. She is fueling mine, so it is all good. It is how it all works. That's the whole point of art school, to feed off of everybody else's energy, and to push each other to the limit of creativity.
It works well for writers, too.
I haven't been back to Hollywood in years. I have no place being there.
I used to love riding my bike all around, down infrequently used alleyways.
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