I woke up at a normal hour, did some things, and went back to bed. It was worth it, because I had a dream about living in my old house in Bountiful. Things were like how things were when I was 17, except it was in a new reality. All of my old friends were in the dream. My mother was there, and so were my siblings. It was a trippy dream.
I reconnected with The Secret Passages Dream. There are tunnels I have been in, where I have left certain items. There are things I have left behind there, and I can't get to them except if I get to these places in my dreams where the circumstances are right. I have been to these places, and I keep forgetting them. They are not real, though, it is all a dream. They are secret places that only I know about. The same places keep showing up. I don't always have access to these certain passages. Basically, I have created passages in my mind in houses I have lived in where there are secret tunnels that only I know about. It all seems so real. I have unfinished projects that I have not completed yet, the remains of these projects are there in the tunnels.
Things happened in the dream. My mother was still teaching piano lessons to these two teen-agers that used to come to the house. The kids always misbehaved during these lessons, so it was hard for these kids to learn anything. It was hard for us, we never learned piano from my mother. She never taught us. I never had the inclination to just sit there at the piano. I wanted to move around a lot, and be athletic. I wanted action. I didn't want to just sit there.
Anyway, what else is there?
I was supposed to have all these books written by now, be a published author, have my comic book and movie out, and have all these things accomplished.
Instead, I am here at the cafe writing a blog.
My first real coffee shop experience was this place called 'The Painted Word'. It was there that I saw my first real spoken word. That changed me about what I thought I could do. It opened up the doors, if not the floodgates to my imagination.
Utah was very repressed, or should I say is? Anyhow, I had 5-12 grades there, and lots of experiences. I ranged from bad to average to good student. I tried it all. I was happy being a B student. Not too bad, and not too good, either.
I started out high school doing a paper route in the morning. That was a big mistake. I did it for two months, in the snow. I didn't get enough sleep. That job was big mistake to take on. I needed money, though. When I got the paycheck, it just wasn't worth it. All that work for chump change. It was an insult, so I quit. I wasn't that great of a paperboy anyhow. I sucked, and I was inconsistent. Carrying all those papers around was murder. What a terrible time I had doing that.
Looking back, I was a little jerk, and I didn't even know it. I was an a**hole. I was moody, untalkative, unfriendly, unsocial, and pretty nasty. I was unfun. "Then again, there were lots of jerks in that school.
I was lonely a lot.
Let's just say that Utah sucked.
I had some good times playing baseball, and the girls in school were cute. They used to give me such pain as I would look at them. They were all so delicious looking. I wanted to see what was going on. I didn't have too many chances until later.
I was friendless by the time high school was done. College was not an option. I had no guidance. I had never seen the guidance counselor once in high school. I never bothered. What was he going to tell me? I have no idea.
Then I had the whole Mormon influence on me, and it all started to not feel right. It did not seem like a goal or destination for me. I didn't know at the time that the whole thing was made up. That was too hard to believe that for my whole life I was actually involved in something that was completely false. The whole religion is fiction. That was a hard pill to swallow. I spent years to deprogram myself. My siblings all have varying degrees of Mormonism still implanted in them. Some of them have grown out of certain things. All this purity stuff is for the birds, along with all of the beliefs. Now I think of Joseph Smith as more of a con man, with his own pyramid scheme for wealth and power. He had political aspirations, too. The Mormons are still trying to get as many Mormons as they can into office. I would be scared if I was you, because they are serious. The Mormons own a lot of property in this world, and they will never stop to try and acquire as much land around the world as they can. Watch out.
So, American Freedoms are going down and down, little by little, and they are being whittled away. I think everyone knows that it is happening, but there is not much of anything that anybody can do about it.
1984 is happening now, in a lot of ways. One example is the whole thing about spying on everybody and putting it on facebook and youtube. That information will be useful to people later when they are trying to find the moles.
Nobody has to worry about me. I intend no one any real harm. I just want to live a creative life, and get paid for it. The last time I checked, it is not a crime to be alive, or to want to live. Sometimes, they seem to make into a crime.
They look down on you if you don't have some cheap, commercial enterprise going on. Sorry to let everybody down, but I find that most people don't really give a damn anyhow what other people do. Not even people in my family have really seen too many of my videos, much less have they read my written material. To get any of them to actually comment would be amazing. One of them, I don't want any feedback from at all. That would be too creepy.
I often go in and out between fiction and non-fiction. I don't know what it all is anymore. All I do know is that this cafe, Muddy Waters, well, it might as well be Babylon 5 is all I am saying. There is a mixture of humans and aliens here, and we all have to learn how to get along and tolerate each other.
Speaking of Babylon 5, I finished watching season 2 for the second time.
I think I get it now, and I get what it is all about, which is basically the war between shadow and light.
It is a really great show, they have done a really great job so far, even though, sometimes, it is just so funny and amateurish but still really good.
Sheridan is such an American. A good ole boy in the tradition of Martin Sheen from Apocalypse Now, which was a pretty crazy movie.
Yes, it is true. I still have not seen The Godfather I, II, or III. Am I missing anything? I just have never enjoyed mafia and wise guy stuff. I had enough of it growing up with thick heads, why would I want to watch it? I know I am supposed to. I tried once, and I couldn't get into it. After twenty minutes of The Godfather, I just shut it off. I just didn't care. Rare for me to do that with any movie, but I did it.
I have never seen 'Gone With The Wind', either. Not in its entirety. Seems like it would be a tedious chore to sit through with all of that period acting, all so fake and phony.
I didn't know until recently that Clark Gable was in a version of 'Call of The Wild'. I don't remember him traveling with some lady. Maybe they did that for the film, to Hollywoodize it, I don't know. All I know is that Jack London's book is real good, and very interesting, and a joy to read.
So what is better, a book or a movie?
It all turns out that J.D. Salinger had some post-traumatic stress syndrome, and he had some good editors for his books. It is an illusion that he wrote his books as is. I don't know if J.D. really was able to write as he wanted to, or if he just did things for business, or to reach an audience, or wrote what he thought would sell.
All I know is it is a screwed up world, and the censors are everywhere.
The comics code? Because a bunch of people didn't want horror and sex in their kids comic books? Who cares? The Japanese have people having sex in their comic books, so what is the big deal? It is just art.
Well, that is what the war is. I know I will never win, but there are people who would restrict what I would think in my head.
Trust me, the powers that be, well, they want people to be obsessed with sports, so that they can sell a bunch of crap.
They don't really want people to think about literature and ideas too much. That would be un-American.
It just goes to show that it is all a bunch of horse***t.
"Okay teacher, I'm done...where's my paycheck?"
This place was packed yesterday. It is a better day for writing in here today. I got the blues, the crazy Russian girl is here, and other friends.
It is going to be a good day.
I need a cigarette.
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